I have always known that i am the type of person that needs to fall flat on their face (have a complete meltdown0 before i can get back up, wipe it off and continue with a new found clarity and that clarity has come to me today. I have also suspected that i have been feeling sorry for myself and making this entire situation worse, in stead of facing it headstrong and dealing with it. But i think the reason i hadn’t was because of the above and because i always thought i could just pack up and leave. NOT AN OPTION ANYMORE. Soooo finally i can see clearly now (the rain has gone.. :p LOL) and i have an action plan. I have been waiting around, waiting for something to happen, waiting for friends to be handed to me on a silver plate and had simply given up on Houston and the entire situation and just allowed myself to fall into this depression. NOT ANYMORE. I am smart enough to know that life is never handed to you on a plate, you ave push and fight and work for it and granted i have had clouded judgement, i dont need to make new best friends, i have plenty waiting for me back home who i love and cherish, they are practically family, i was naive to come here thinking things would work out as planned, i know that they never do. Hell i dont think ever in my life have things gone to plan, i dont know why it would start now. I also realised that the reason i have been so down, wasn’t because Houston has been a shit-hole it was because i felt i had wasted an opportunity. i am not the type of person who goes to a city and just ignores all it has to offer and all its culture and greatness, and i feel since i got here i havent had the means to be able to appreciate Houston to its fullest potential. and i think i am just disappointed in the situation and in myself. But i dont have the transport and otherwise things are very expensive. BUT you have to spend to gain sometimes and in this case i have now discovered a company that does tours and transportation. YES granted it is a little pricey, BUT it will give me a chance to not feel like i wasted this summer and this opportunity, and i will NOT spend my weekends alone at home doing nothing. I will have the chance to go to shopping at an outlet mall, go to the NASA space centre, go visit a Ranch (can’t get more texan than that) and get full tour of Houston. Ok so it won’t be as magical and perfect as i expected it to be. But i WILL make it happen. I will NOT sit around feeling sorry for myself anymore and i will no longer blame anyone or anything. Fine yes i wont be saving, when i probably should be for college etc. but things always seem to find a way of working themselves out, and if i can help myself to be happier here for this next month and actually make something of my summer, then why not?!I have done it before, i will do it again, and yes i tend to fall flat on my face (always) along the way, but eventually i get there, and i “get by with a little help from my friends” and family!
Revelations are beautiful, i feel refreshed with a new outlook on things!
Hasta la proxima
Peace love and happiness